The Last Centurion: Big Brother Takes Aim at Airline Miles

Oh Jesus Pete.

The entity that can’t fix a road efficiently is investigating the last meritocracy in existence, your frequent flier miles.

“Points systems like frequent flyer miles and credit card rewards have become such a meaningful part of our economy that many Americans view their rewards points balances as part of their savings,” Pete Buttigieg has declared.

Buttigieg has decided to launch an inquiry into the sacred territory of the last great meritocracy in existence. I couldn’t think of a better use of Government power than the important constitutional government interest of “understanding”. Yes, I completely forgot about the episode of Schoolhouse Rock where the government can compel the production of documents to “understand”. I believe it was called “I’m just a highly regulated activity”.

Nonetheless, the Government sent document requests to the major airlines with the hope of unpacking “fairness” in the system.

Notwithstanding the complete departure from constitutional authority, why is this his job?

I’m clawing in the dark for an answer. But in sum, this isn’t about safety or transportation it’s about control - government control over a large sector of the economy. With findings comes a deferred prosecution agreement or a civil settlement and a corporate integrity agreement. These are the mechanisms of modern communism. Overregulate, find violations, insert control. Rinse and repeat.

To the average flyer, airline miles aren't just points; they're symbols of identity and status, like a nice dinner jacket. They're what keep the dream of that business class upgrade or the free trip to Bali alive.

Buttigeig seeks to understand how one might get upgraded on a flight as if its his duty to promote a fair country.

"How dare airlines change the value of miles without consulting us first?" he cries. It's as if they've just discovered that airlines, like any business, might adjust their offerings based on, you know, business. Clearly, the government believes that the same people who can't agree on what constitutes the appropriate amount of grains in my diet should now dictate how rewarding a mile should be.

The idea that government regulation could make airline miles more "fair" is like suggesting that by regulating how many marshmallows go into a Lucky Charms box, you'll improve breakfast.

Nope, they failed at that too sanctioning FDA approved cereal killers.

A balanced and nutritious diet of government fairness

It's not just about fairness; it's about the absurdity of thinking they can control something as dynamic as consumer loyalty programs and that this control is better than capitalism and free choice.

It's as if they've forgotten that airlines, like any business, thrive on customer satisfaction, not on the whims of bureaucratic meddling. Airlines are successful by appealing to their loyal customers. If Pete wants to have a say, fill out a comment card available here. We don’t need your help Pete.

So, here's to the DOT, may your journey into the mystical realm of airline rewards be as fruitful as your other “good ideas”. We greatly appreciate your expenditure of resources in the sacred name of protecting us from evil airlines. Better yet, save my money and let me decide.

This article was brought to you by someone who's more concerned about the government's ability to regulate the air we breathe than how many miles they get for their next flight.